3. Do you have your own back?

Imagine if Ash Barty, world number one Australian tennis player, paid attention when she was told she wouldn't be successful due to her height – or lack thereof. (The average height of a female tennis player is 176cm, and Ash falls 10cm short of that average, at 166cm).

Imagine if Jennifer Lopez listened when she was told she couldn’t sing, she wasn’t pretty enough, and she didn’t look good on film?

Imagine if Taylor Swift allowed the criticism of people who have never released a number one record (or any record, for that matter), stop her from experimenting with her sound, expressing her political opinion, or taking a stand for the rights of women and the LGBTQIA community?

Thankfully, none of these incredibly talented women allowed the opinions and criticisms of others to derail them from their chosen path, and the thing that set them apart from countless others who aren’t successful?

They have their own back. No matter what.

Are you waiting for someone else to tell you that you’re capable or deserving or worthy? I believe that one of the strongest indicators of future success is the ability to back yourself and your ability to figure things out.

I didn’t think I was capable of being a CIO until I was told, when interviewing for a different job, that I’d be a good fit. I'd never even considered that role for myself, it took someone else saying it to me for me to think that I was capable. But once that thought seed had been planted, it was my responsibility to level up.

When I started my career, I was really lucky to have a support crew of amazing women who had confidence in me, while I worked to build up confidence of my own. And that's a critical piece of the puzzle: having a support crew who you can bounce ideas around with, who will give you honest (but gentle) feedback, and who will hold space for you to vent, without those complaints going any further. If you don't have that in your current role, consider being the trailblazer who creates that strong female community, either within your company or as part of a mastermind of women who are at a similar stage in their careers.

It’s important to recognise that when you are learning new things, there is a stage of feeling uncomfortable that is eventually replaced with confidence as you become more competent. 

Just because you don't feel confident now, doesn't mean you can't learn and grow your way into being truly confident in your abilities and your skills.

Think about when you first learned to drive a car: you had to navigate gears, your feet and your blinkers, making them all work in unison. You probably thought you’d never get it all working, and that driving would always be hard, but after a year or two you can drive from work to home and not have any recollection of how you did it!

When you’re setting out to learn something, you don’t know what you don’t know; as you explore further you become very aware of your shortcomings in terms of knowledge or skill. Eventually, you become competent at a task or skillset, and there’s that moment of pride, which is eventually replaced with an unconscious competence, or confidence.

 
When I first became an executive at an organisation and I was going to meetings with the exec team, I was absolutely petrified. These were formal meetings addressing IT problems for a massive organisation, and for the first few meetings I was like a deer in the headlights. Imposter syndrome almost paralysed me.

How did I overcome it?

Preparation: Know what's on the agenda for the meeting, and if there's anything you don't understand, ask.

Speak Up: make sure you contribute, particularly if you’re in a male-dominated industry. Add value, have an opinion, or volunteer to participate in a project

Form connections: Both within your company and further afield in your industry. You never know where help could come from later in your career, so having a solid network is vital.

Ask for feedback: This is not only important when it comes to being able to perform your job; it also demonstrates to those above you that YOU recognise you don't know everything and your ego isn't so fragile that you can't ask for help. Think about it: we all like to feel respected, valued and heard. That person whose input you asked for today might be the head of a hiring committee in a year or two, and if they know you put the needs of a project above your need to be right, you're in with a pretty good shot of that promotion!

Enjoy the process! 

It can feel a little uncomfortable to be a beginner, but you can learn some really valuable lessons as you start out in your career or in your management role. Observe your thoughts and feelings, particularly when it comes to how you’re interacting and how you feel about what you’re learning. Observe the way others approach their jobs and how they communicate - sometimes you'll learn more when you observe something you don't like. 

And above all: have your own back!