40. It is not You It is the System

It’s not you it is the system! 

I have been on a workshop for the past few days.

It's a business course - with a mix of men and women. Its about 65% men and 35% women. There is a good mix of ethnicity in the room and a mix of ages, some older and some younger. There is a really good mix of people from different backgrounds - people who work in corporate, their own business, government and schools.

I have focused on the topic but I have also been watching the behaviour of the group. Each day has been a different facilitator. 

First day was a women, second and third days men. All accomplished and experienced in their fields and all experienced facilitators. 

It has been fascinating to watch the group dynamics. 

This is a group that have not meet each other before and has come together for this course. 

There are a couple of interesting things that I have noticed regarding the group:

•  One man has completely dominated the conversation. 
•  One man when the women facilitated spoke so much that he should have been running the course. 
•  One man called the female facilitator the wrong name 3 times. She didn’t correct him. He called a male facilitator the wrong name and was corrected immediately.
•  Men have really dominated the conversation focusing on their own issues.

•  Women took a few days to feel comfortable to speak up
•  Women were interrupted by men
•  Women were over spoken by the facilitator
•  Women were disagreed with by men
•  Women’s ideas were called into question (then they stated their expertise).
•  Women only spoke when they felt really comfortable in the topic and were an expert

What I also noticed that with a bit of support of women behind the scenes the voices of the women got stronger. The women started to speak up more. 

Did you know that for women to have an equal voice there needs to be 75% representation of women in a group. Astounding isn’t it that we need 25% more women to have an equal voice. 

We have gotten so used to men’s voices that we often don’t even question it. 

This is the system. 

Women's societal roles and expectations have been shaped over centuries, leading to deeply ingrained biases and stereotypes. For generations, women were confined to domestic spaces, their contributions undervalued and their aspirations limited. Understanding this historical backdrop is crucial to dismantling the systemic barriers that continue to hinder progress.

Women are traditionally seen as nurturing, compassionate, and communal, while leadership and assertiveness are predominantly associated with masculinity. These ideological constructs not only restrict women from pursuing certain careers but also limit men from embracing non-traditional roles. 

Addressing gender diversity requires challenging and dismantling these limiting beliefs.

Biases, both conscious and unconscious, permeate the working world, impeding women's progress. The prevalence of gender bias manifests in multiple forms, from overt discrimination to subtle micro-aggressions. 

Stereotypes, prejudices, and double standards can undermine women's competence, credibility, and career advancements. Women are often subjected to biased performance evaluations, face greater scrutiny, and confront the glass ceiling – an invisible barrier that restricts their ascent to leadership positions. Transforming the system necessitates addressing and eradicating these biases at all levels.

The system's inherent biases have far-reaching consequences for women's professional trajectories. It influences their self-perception, career choices, and overall success.

Women face societal pressure to conform to traditional gender roles, leading to self-doubt and imposter syndrome. Moreover, the system's failure to provide adequate support systems, including affordable childcare and flexible work arrangements, further exacerbates the challenges faced by women, particularly mothers. Recognising these detrimental effects is essential to generating meaningful change.

Instead of focusing on "fixing" women, we need to fix the system. 

Organisations, policymakers, and society at large must take responsibility for dismantling the systemic barriers that hold women back. 

This entails implementing inclusive policies, fostering diverse leadership, promoting pay equity, and challenging societal norms. 

Engaging men as allies and champions of change is equally important in dismantling gender inequalities. Only by collectively transforming the system can we create a truly inclusive and equitable society.

First though men actually need to see the system for what it really is.

We have the collective power to spark transformation.

We need to be Brave and ask for more.

We need to answer back, we need to challenge, we need to disagree and have a different opinion because we are different.

Raise your voice, advocate for change, and hold institutions accountable.  Encourage inclusive policies, demand fair compensation, and challenge bias whenever you encounter it. 

Remember, change starts from within, and as women, we have the collective strength to reshape the world around us.

Two great books on this subject are:

The Fix: How to Overcome the Invisible barriers that are holding women back at work. by Michelle P King. 

 Gender Penalty - Turning obstacles into Opportunities by Anneli Blundell.

Also I just recently interviewed Anneli on my podcast. Have a listen - 

The Gender Penalty - Why are we still playing this Game?

Have a great weekend! Cheers Sam xx